Chapter 7: I Wanna Thank You

"If the only prayer you ever say is Thank You, that will be enough"~Maya Angelou
It's cliche to say life is hard. But what I have learned, what I am continuing to learn is that what is a trial today, is a lesson for tomorrow. What is asked of me in my life? What does God ask of me? I have come to subscibe to "Thy will, not my will, be done". God has given me a tremendous gift. How I choose to view the events in my life is up to me. Gratitude. Melanie Beattie says, "Gratitiude unlocks the fullness of love. It turns what we have into enough and more..." I have been given so much. Children, health, a roof over my head, food in my refrigerator, a job I love, a family I love and who love me...and even in times that are so difficult, so bad, He is there. His steadfast love keeps me going. He gives me the tools in times of trial. And I am so gateful.

Chapter 6: You've Got To Have Faith

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for. The promise of things not seen." Hebrews 1:11 KJV.

I have lived enough of a life to know that I would not be here today without the presence and grace of my Heavenly Father. He has given me everything need. Have I always been a good and faithful servant? No. Do I try each day? Yes...some days are better than others! But what what has sustained me through each day, each sorrow, each joy is the verse from the Bible spelled out above. The gifts He has given me are priceless. My faith is my buoy. I know that, no matter what the road brings me, I am sustained through a loving God. I am so grateful...I am so humbled.

Chapter 5: Checking In

I sat down and decided to reread my past blogs today...I was drawn to the one where I was listing some goals I was planning to focus on. So this blog is a personal checkin for myself. While it has taken a while and the steps have been small baby steps, I have been stepping! I have put my "goals" into catagories...
Reclaiming My Soul: I have been working on writing. I love writing and currently I am focusing on this blog and journaling as well. Writing has become a way for me for me to fill some areas in my life where I was using other incredibly unhealthy things before. I used to write alot more in my "younger" years...it was something I truly missed. I realized the only thing really stopping me was...well, me. The time I am able to sit and focus on words and ideas and fleshing them out on paper or screen is a gift I am giving myself.
Reclaiming My Body: You are supposed to treat your body like a temple. Shamefully, I have spent a lot of my life trating mine like a garbage dump. I am walking towards the temple though. I am trying very hard to nurture respect my body. Watching what I am putting into it and how I spending my day with it. Sleep, exercise, water...baby steps.
Reclaiming My Mind: I am also taking the time to fill my mind with more intersting and thoughtful things. I am trying to read books that are stimulating and really enjoying the time I am taking to do that. I am also thinking about returning to school sometime in the near future. My mind is start to crave stimulation.
Reclaiming My Spirit: God has given me so much. Much more than I ever deserved, I know this for sure. I admit that I am not in control of my life, my life is in the hands of my Heavenly Father. With Him, I have everything I could ever need. And while I acknowledged this, I had to also admit that all He wanted in return was my time. So Each day, I am dedicating some time, some quiet time in prayer, in meditation, in His word. I thank Him daily for the gifts which he has placed in my life. I am so very grateful.
Reclaiming Jeanne...a work in progress...

Chapter 4 Embracing The Simple Pleasures

Recently I watched the 1999 film American Beauty starring Annette Bening and Kevin Spacey. One of the things in the movie that really resinated with me was the character's pursuit of happiness, especially the character of Carolyn Burnham. We see her in intense pursuit of the finest things, expensive things, things she believes will fill her emptiness and make happy. But what we the viewers can plainly see is how empty she remains, how exhausted she is from her pursuit. In contrast, she husband Lester, in almost an act of rebellion against her, begins to pursue the things that he remembers bringing him happiness...as a much younger version of himself. And in the both the waining moments of both Lester's life and the film, her realizes what truely brought him the joy in his life. It didn't have to with the car he drove or the how great his body looked. It was his wife's laugh and his daughter's smile...
I began to think of the simple pleasures for me...an icey Coke from McDonalds, slipping in to freshly washed sheets, watching agreat movie in the theater with a good box of popcorn, the wind blowing fiercely, a good book, a belly laugh that seems to laugh for ever, a compliment, helping someone, tucking my kids into bed and watching them fall asleep, my kid's smiles, the show Friends or thirtysomething, finishing something I thought I couldn't, a fanatastic conversation, music of The Dixie Chicks or Mary Chapin Carpenter, American Idol, a good steak...I'm a simple girl. That's just who I am.